Category Archives: Spread Awareness

1013 Involuntary Legal Hold for Mental Illness – WTF???

I hope I’m not the only one who’s heard of this shit before, but for those of you who don’t know what a 1013 is, here’s an idea: Even as an independent adult living away from home, if your family suddenly felt “concerned” enough for your well-being (especially as a known drug addict), you’re just a fucking “crisis center” hotline phone call away from being INCARCERATED in a hospital AGAINST YOUR WILL and INVOLUNTARILY detoxed from any and all legal/DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED medications (narcotics) they want to take from you.

For inpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:

  • be in need of involuntary treatment AND
      • (1) imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR
      • (2) unable to care for physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life-endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.

Google seems to only turn up GA and FL laws regarding a 1013, maybe it’s called something else in other states? As you can see from the featured image and below, it’s a shockingly simple little form with a few check boxes that seem to unapologetically ignore civil rights and humanity in general… but that’s just from my own personal experience… Here’s someone else’s experience being “1013”ed, FYI.

Screen Shot 2017-05-03 at 5.49.18 AM

Anyway, I was just discharged today from such an experience, and it was unsettling enough to make me really want to study up on the legalities of this whole process. Also very curious to hear others’ experiences.

Before I start  that sure, I can see there being probable cause to maybe monitor me overnight or for a couple days, given the circumstances. I can understand my parents’ “concern” for my well-being/safety/mental state after finding my husband dead. Sure, given the cocktail of drugs found in my system, I understood and was cool with the familiar few day-stint in the local state-funded in-patient detox/crisis stabilization facility. Full Disclosure: My drug screen came up dirty for opiates (my prescribed methadone), benzos (Xanax), meth (per usual… :/), and cocaine (it was just one night!).
I’M NOT SAYING I DIDN’T NEED SOME KIND OF HELP, I’M JUST SAYING THIS WAS NOT THE WAY TO GO, AND FELT UNSHAKABLY FUCKED UP ON SO MANY LEVELS. It was a totally different experience than when I actually called the cops on myself about 2 years ago (right before meeting my husband… wow, I’ve come full circle), and willingly going to a short detox.

Summary of what happened:

  • Mom calls some state “crisis intervention” hotline (she now says she was just looking for grief counseling for me).
  • One minute I’m getting ready to head to the methadone clinic, arguing with my mom about borrowing their car, next thing I know there’s literally about 10 cops standing in my living room with some strange bitch I’ve never seen going, “We just want to talk to you for a minute…”, advancing toward me like they’re about to tackle me.
  • Frustrated after arguing with my mom, I refuse to talk to the bitch (who introduces herself as a social worker who “just has a few questions for me”). Without warning, she apparently puts a “1013” on me (see attached image below) – citing a Facebook post about my husband’s death and just my mom’s statement that I had threatened suicide after my husband’s death and was on drugs – ordering emergency transport to the hospital for psych evaluation.
  • EMT’s arrived to transport me, I went willingly and without any resistance, thinking I’d be in and out easily after explaining that this was all just a big misunderstanding and that I WAS NOT suicidal.
  • I KNOW I COULD NOT HAVE APPEARED PARTICULARLY FUCKED UP/INTOXICATED/TWEAKED OUT/INSANE/ETC., BECAUSE I HAD A LOVELY TALK WITH THE EMT WHO TRANSPORTED ME TO THE HOSPITAL. I explained the whole situation to her: My husband dying, my parents’ concern, full disclosure on the fact that I’d been getting fucked up but I wasn’t suicidal or a threat to myself, etc. We laughed about the fact that this is just how my mom/parents handle shit when they don’t know what to do with their kids. Just a few months prior to this, I was INFURIATED when my mom had my 10yr old sister locked down in a similar state-funded facility when she wouldn’t go to school, claiming her anxiety was too severe.
  • The EMT said she would put in a good word with the social worker for me.

Being held for 24 hours in a local hospital and then transported almost 2 hours away on a 1013 “involuntary legal hold” because I was deemed “a threat to myself or others” was a COMPLETELY different experience than admitting myself voluntarily, (in the exact same location). ALL I CAN SAY IS, IF IT WAS THAT EASY FOR MY FUCKING (ALSO) INSANE MOTHER TO COMMIT ME, ALMOST AS AN EXPERIMENT, I’M CURIOUS HOW EASY IT WOULD BE FOR ME TO GET HER LOCKED UP THE SAME WAY???

Just a few of the things that shocked and scared the shit out of me:

  • I learned quickly that the more I fought against the involuntary legal hold, the “crazier” I seemed to make myself appear. (The more heated I got in my arguing, the more they looked at me like I was “crazy”).
  • This realization came after meeting with my “doctor” on day 2/3 of my involuntary psychiatric/detox treatment. I was annoyed and terrified when he told me, almost with a smirk, that A.) I would be there longer than the 72 hours I was promised at the hospital, instead the average stay SENTENCE is 5 – 7 days, B.) not only would he NOT write an order for my methadone for my stay, C.) he would actually be detoxing me off it, and there was NOTHING I COULD DO TO STOP IT.
  • Legally prescribed medications (presumably if they’re of the narcotic variety) can be taken upon hospitalization, involuntarily detoxed out of your system and NOT GIVEN BACK.
  • The facility I was transported to BOAST ON THEIR WEBSITE ABOUT ELECTRO-SHOCK THERAPY as a treatment offered for depression. (Uhh, is it still the same century, or…?)



For my own reference:

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Redefining Rape [Pt. 1]: Gender

In the public discussion and of rape, the term “women’s issue” tends to be synonymous. It wasn’t until my own rape as an adult that I realized just how skewed and dangerously misguided the public perception of rape actually is. While trying to come to terms with my own date rape, I found the vast majority of the resources available to victims of sex crimes (i.e. national and regional hotlines, websites and organizations) to be inexplicably unhelpful and discouraging.

While I want to focus more on the victims in this post, Lara Naughton of expresses a unique perspective about the relationship between victim and rapist (woman and man, in this case):

My rape threw me into a different orbit, and spun me around and around what I thought I knew about sexual violence. Once I regained a sense of equilibrium and assessed the ways I was altered, I recognized I had two new convictions. One: Rape is not a women’s issue. Two: If we want our rape culture to dissolve, we have to attend to the pain and suffering of men.

Naughton’s ability to recognize (or even care about) the suffering in her attacker might be somewhat hard to grasp for some. The last time I was raped, I literally saw my rapist as evil incarnate. I might’ve been hallucinating from whatever he’d put in my drink, but when I regained consciousness the next morning, looked at him and realized what had happened, I literally felt as though I was looking at a demon; the Devil in the flesh.

All victims of sexual violence react and deal with it in different ways. I think most of us ask “Why?” at some point. “Why did you do that to me?” This is a question Naughton addresses in her insightful piece “Why Rape is Not a Women’s Issue.” She goes on say,

When I was in the jungle with my rapist, I couldn’t run or fight. Compassion for him was my only defense.

Naughton’s poignant recollection of her trauma and the consequential permanent alteration of her psyche brings up a vital point: It’s not about what gender is victimized by sexual violence more frequently. While it is true that  “men… make up the overwhelming majority of people committing sexual assaults, and women the overwhelming majority of their victims,” focus needs to be shifted from statistics to WHY and WHAT drives a person to rape in the first place.

All victims who experience a sexual assault, including rape, deserve to be acknowledged, cared for with resources designed to help them move from trauma to well-being, and given a safe place in the judicial system free from blame and shame. But those measures are reactive to the issue — they’re not the issue itself.

References & further reading:

Female Anger: A Taboo

A woman screaming in rage and anger is likely more feared than anything on this planet.


Our culture conditions us to disregard levels of anger in women that make us uncomfortable, shrugging her rage off as just being “bitchy”… or oh no, better watch out, it’s her time of the month!

Women are absolutely not allowed the freedom to be angry as anyone else. If you’re angry about something and happen to be a woman, your anger will only be tolerated up to a certain point. Past that, you’re just being a bitch, or irrational, or emotional. Your feelings are disregarded if they’re too powerful for others to handle, or if they make someone uncomfortable.

As a woman, I recognize an almost unconscious restraint in expressing my anger. I know that I’ve been programmed to only be as angry as others are comfortable with, feeling pressured to always maintain some kind of composure even when expressing overwhelming emotion. Gotta try not to look ugly when you cry… Even I doubt my own feelings, constantly telling myself I’m just being dramatic.

You’re allowed to complain, but do it too much and you’re a nag. It’s ok if you want to be angry, but yell too much and you’re a bitch. We don’t mind if you want to fight for social justice or protest about whatever you’re butthurt about today, but if you get overly outraged and indignant, you’re a feminazi or a man-hating dyke. (Don’t even get me started on the feminist stigma).

I’m a woman and I’m fucking mad, outraged even. Just try to shut me up. I dare you.

coutney love angry

Who’s one of the most angry women in pop culture, and hands down the most infamously hated? Courtney Love. People come up with a million reasons to hate her: she killed Kurt, she did heroin when pregnant, whatever… I feel like it all really just comes down to the fact that Courtney Love is the poster child for an angry woman who gives absolutely no fucks whether you think she’s pretty or if her hair’s greasy. She’s the embodiment of loud, obnoxious, outspoken female rage and people either absolutely love it or can’t stand it. Whether you love her or hate her, Love’s original image is so commanding and powerful that even haters have to talk about how awful she is.

So why is it that Courtney Love is considered a gross whore and a junkie, but male equivalents are socially accepted as cool? Take Sid Viscious for example, or pick any of the numerous drug addicted rock stars who got sloppy but were still accepted because they were male.

Well not only is she a gigantic bitch, she also warps and distorts society’s sacred idea of femininity! She has the nerve to be kind of pretty, but in a really fucked up, grungy way. You can’t be that angry in such a pretty dress…

I repeat this quote so much it’s become a mantra of mine:

Your anger is a gift.

Name one time in history when anger has not been someone’s first step in changing the world. The heart of revolution is righteous anger. If you don’t get fucking pissed and outraged that something is being done that isn’t right, it just keeps happening.

So get mad. Get really mad. Get mad and get “ugly” and don’t care. Get as mad as you need to about people and things that hurt you, and use it as your motivation to take initiative and do something to change it.

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