Category Archives: My Diary

1013 Involuntary Legal Hold for Mental Illness – WTF???

I hope I’m not the only one who’s heard of this shit before, but for those of you who don’t know what a 1013 is, here’s an idea: Even as an independent adult living away from home, if your family suddenly felt “concerned” enough for your well-being (especially as a known drug addict), you’re just a fucking “crisis center” hotline phone call away from being INCARCERATED in a hospital AGAINST YOUR WILL and INVOLUNTARILY detoxed from any and all legal/DOCTOR-PRESCRIBED medications (narcotics) they want to take from you.

For inpatient treatment, a person must meet the following criteria:

  • be in need of involuntary treatment AND
      • (1) imminent danger to self/others, evidenced by recent overt acts or expressed threats of violence OR
      • (2) unable to care for physical health and safety so as to create an imminently life-endangering crisis and in need of involuntary treatment.

Google seems to only turn up GA and FL laws regarding a 1013, maybe it’s called something else in other states? As you can see from the featured image and below, it’s a shockingly simple little form with a few check boxes that seem to unapologetically ignore civil rights and humanity in general… but that’s just from my own personal experience… Here’s someone else’s experience being “1013”ed, FYI.

Screen Shot 2017-05-03 at 5.49.18 AM

Anyway, I was just discharged today from such an experience, and it was unsettling enough to make me really want to study up on the legalities of this whole process. Also very curious to hear others’ experiences.

Before I start  that sure, I can see there being probable cause to maybe monitor me overnight or for a couple days, given the circumstances. I can understand my parents’ “concern” for my well-being/safety/mental state after finding my husband dead. Sure, given the cocktail of drugs found in my system, I understood and was cool with the familiar few day-stint in the local state-funded in-patient detox/crisis stabilization facility. Full Disclosure: My drug screen came up dirty for opiates (my prescribed methadone), benzos (Xanax), meth (per usual… :/), and cocaine (it was just one night!).
I’M NOT SAYING I DIDN’T NEED SOME KIND OF HELP, I’M JUST SAYING THIS WAS NOT THE WAY TO GO, AND FELT UNSHAKABLY FUCKED UP ON SO MANY LEVELS. It was a totally different experience than when I actually called the cops on myself about 2 years ago (right before meeting my husband… wow, I’ve come full circle), and willingly going to a short detox.

Summary of what happened:

  • Mom calls some state “crisis intervention” hotline (she now says she was just looking for grief counseling for me).
  • One minute I’m getting ready to head to the methadone clinic, arguing with my mom about borrowing their car, next thing I know there’s literally about 10 cops standing in my living room with some strange bitch I’ve never seen going, “We just want to talk to you for a minute…”, advancing toward me like they’re about to tackle me.
  • Frustrated after arguing with my mom, I refuse to talk to the bitch (who introduces herself as a social worker who “just has a few questions for me”). Without warning, she apparently puts a “1013” on me (see attached image below) – citing a Facebook post about my husband’s death and just my mom’s statement that I had threatened suicide after my husband’s death and was on drugs – ordering emergency transport to the hospital for psych evaluation.
  • EMT’s arrived to transport me, I went willingly and without any resistance, thinking I’d be in and out easily after explaining that this was all just a big misunderstanding and that I WAS NOT suicidal.
  • I KNOW I COULD NOT HAVE APPEARED PARTICULARLY FUCKED UP/INTOXICATED/TWEAKED OUT/INSANE/ETC., BECAUSE I HAD A LOVELY TALK WITH THE EMT WHO TRANSPORTED ME TO THE HOSPITAL. I explained the whole situation to her: My husband dying, my parents’ concern, full disclosure on the fact that I’d been getting fucked up but I wasn’t suicidal or a threat to myself, etc. We laughed about the fact that this is just how my mom/parents handle shit when they don’t know what to do with their kids. Just a few months prior to this, I was INFURIATED when my mom had my 10yr old sister locked down in a similar state-funded facility when she wouldn’t go to school, claiming her anxiety was too severe.
  • The EMT said she would put in a good word with the social worker for me.

Being held for 24 hours in a local hospital and then transported almost 2 hours away on a 1013 “involuntary legal hold” because I was deemed “a threat to myself or others” was a COMPLETELY different experience than admitting myself voluntarily, (in the exact same location). ALL I CAN SAY IS, IF IT WAS THAT EASY FOR MY FUCKING (ALSO) INSANE MOTHER TO COMMIT ME, ALMOST AS AN EXPERIMENT, I’M CURIOUS HOW EASY IT WOULD BE FOR ME TO GET HER LOCKED UP THE SAME WAY???

Just a few of the things that shocked and scared the shit out of me:

  • I learned quickly that the more I fought against the involuntary legal hold, the “crazier” I seemed to make myself appear. (The more heated I got in my arguing, the more they looked at me like I was “crazy”).
  • This realization came after meeting with my “doctor” on day 2/3 of my involuntary psychiatric/detox treatment. I was annoyed and terrified when he told me, almost with a smirk, that A.) I would be there longer than the 72 hours I was promised at the hospital, instead the average stay SENTENCE is 5 – 7 days, B.) not only would he NOT write an order for my methadone for my stay, C.) he would actually be detoxing me off it, and there was NOTHING I COULD DO TO STOP IT.
  • Legally prescribed medications (presumably if they’re of the narcotic variety) can be taken upon hospitalization, involuntarily detoxed out of your system and NOT GIVEN BACK.
  • The facility I was transported to BOAST ON THEIR WEBSITE ABOUT ELECTRO-SHOCK THERAPY as a treatment offered for depression. (Uhh, is it still the same century, or…?)



For my own reference:

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

“Blame The System, NOT the Victim!”

SlutWalk NYC

This slogan struck a chord with me when I saw it on picket signs in images of SlutWalk, inspiring me to do something about what happened to me Halloween of 2014. I went to the cops and reported the rape, but I could already tell before even finishing giving my report to the police that nothing would be done and I wouldn’t get justice through the U.S. “justice system.” The male detective’s questions were much more focused on my drinking habits, how drunk I was that night, how much I’d been drinking in the days leading up to it, etc., rather than the rape itself. I could tell that he was trying to judge whether or not I had a drinking problem, which it was pretty clear that I did. His opinion of me as an alcoholic definitely seemed to determine the questions he asked. I actually think he asked more questions about my drinking than the event itself, and he was not even remotely sensitive to what I had just been through. He treated me like I was the criminal, like I was the one who had done something wrong. The female detective who spoke with me afterward to get more of the details wasn’t much better, though she seemed to be more trained in dealing with victims of sex crimes. (She asked questions like, “What color were the sheets on the bed?” and “What was the furniture in the room? What did it look like/what color was it?” presumably to judge how intoxicated I was, how fuzzy my memory was, etc.)

The police, judges, courts and government that just pretend this is a non-issue, systematically allowing perpetrators of sexual violence to go free or receive light sentences while distracting victims and protestors from the real issues at hand – these are the entities we as victims of sexual violence should be focused on to demand justice, since they seem to think our rapists have done nothing wrong.

I was shocked and outraged at how I was treated by the male detective. He clearly had no training whatsoever in dealing with these sorts of sensitive matters, or at least he just didn’t care. Let me give some background info: I’m a white girl with long dreadlocks, a septum ring and tattoos. I live in a small backwoods town in Georgia where racism and discrimination is still very much alive and well. The second the detective laid cold, calculating eyes on me, I could sense him sizing me up and forming his judgements and prejudices. You would think maybe the fact that racism is rampant among the police force in this town might actually be an advantage to me in this case since my rapist was black, (*not to say that’s right), but it didn’t. The guy was a clean cut nerdy type who was in the military. It was my word against his, and the detective made it pretty clear from the beginning that he didn’t think a crime had been committed. He never came out and explicitly stated it, but it was obvious from his questions, his condescending attitude, and the insensitive way he treated me that he thought I was just a sloppy alcoholic who drank too much, had sex with a friend, regretted it the next day and was now trying to clear my name and conscious by accusing him of rape.

That’s why these types of cases have been referred to as “gray rape” – a term I have since learned is denounced in much of the online feminist community for implying that there are varying degrees of rape, some of which are not as “bad” – cases of rape accusations where consent is vague and hard to determine. Generally, “gray rape” refers to a sex act where consent was granted at some point but retracted later. (A common example given is where vaginal sex is consented to but oral or anal sex is not). In my case, I was drugged and had been drinking for days, so I was too intoxicated to give consent.

It’s been over a year since this happened to me, and as far as I know the man who raped me never went to jail, was never convicted of anything, probably was never even questioned by the police. This is the second time in my life I have reported a rape or sexual assault, and the assailant was never jailed or punished in any way. The same thing has happened to my 16-year-old sister multiple times just in the past couple years, and since my mother never talks much about her childhood but obviously was traumatized in some way, I have a feeling she’s probably been through it too. The pathetically small percentage of rapists, child molesters and abusers who are behind bars is infuriating and simply unacceptable. But what can be done about it? What can I do to ensure that my 10-year-old sister doesn’t have to go through the same thing?

“BLAME THE SYSTEM, NOT THE VICTIM.” A little lightbulb popped up over my head when I saw this: If my rapist gets away scot-free, where do I seek justice? Who do I blame? THE SYSTEM! The detective who handled my case so insensitively, who had already decided before I even opened my mouth that he didn’t like me and wasn’t going to help, who decided that it was MY fault I was taken advantage of while unconscious because I had a drinking problem. The police department employing the detective for obviously not training their detectives to be sensitive in handling cases of sexual assault and rape. The entire U.S. justice system for systematically allowing rapists to roam free while the victims are treated like criminals for reporting their rapists.

Who knows if it will do any good, but I am working on reporting the detective who took my report. I also intend on contacting the police department and finding out what kind of sensitivity training they put their employees through for dealing with victims of sex crimes, because they seriously need to step it up. I hope to inspire other victims to start thinking like this as well – looking to the SYSTEM to answer for these crimes, since they refuse to carry out justice for the victims.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
L.A. Zine Fest

Sunday, May 27, 2018

life in lists

an unconventional diary

On Our Own Authority! Publishing

Atlanta's Autonomous Research Press

Women of Caliber

No Boys Allowed... Unless Accompanied by a Responsible Girl


Anarchist & Marxist Theory & History

Radical Lesbian Anarchafeminist Collective

Robert Graham's Anarchism Weblog

Anarchism: A Documentary History of Libertarian Ideas Collective. Free news for activist.


because you CAN be both

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Sergeant Polly

Feminism and the every day.

I was a high-school feminist

Feminist perspectives on everyday life